Whispers from the Camino—Day 36

October 10. Pedrouzo to Santiago. 19.4 km.

The final pre-dawn start to the walk

I expected this to be the final day on the Camino trail. With just less than 20 kilometers and an early start I anticipated getting into Santiago de Campostelo by about noon. Actually, that was the time that many pilgrims stated as a goal so that they would have plenty of the day to soak in the experience once arriving at the Cathedral of Santiago which is believed to house the entombed St. James, an apostle of Jesus.

The walk itself was sort of numbing. I almost didn’t know what to feel or think. I knew that I would be arriving at my destination after five full weeks of walking and nearly 500 miles of putting one foot in front of the other. It’s not that I put any pressure on myself to feel anything different that what I was feeling. But, it was strange to know that I was coming to the end, yet not having any strong feelings.

The scenery was pleasant, but it didn’t have the breathtaking quality that I had experienced on many days prior while crossing the Pyrenees or walking through wine country or navigating the long flat Meseta. It was clear that we were heading toward a larger city as the countryside was broken up by small farming plots, more homes along the route and a few signs of business and commerce.

I had the pleasure of walking with a South Korean woman for most of the latter half of the day. We talked some, but more than anything we just provided companionship as we stepped off these final kilometers. I think both of us were grateful for the companionship even as we also needed space for our own processing of the experience. It seemed to be part of this final day of walking—honoring the quiet within our own souls as we tried to come to terms with what it would mean to finally reach Santiago.

A chapel along the way

I needed to get some lunch before actually getting into Santiago. Actually, that probably isn’t totally true. I think what was more true was that I didn’t want the need for lunch to compromise my experience of walking into the sacred space near the Cathedral. I wanted to eat and then make sure I could put all of my emotional attention into arriving at this final destination. My companion wanted to push on and we took a quick selfie to capture our shared experience.

The numbness continued. I ate almost mechanically. On prior days I had learned to be present to the people and experiences right in front of me—a sort of “don’t get ahead of yourself practice.” But this day was different. We all knew where we were headed. It was difficult not to pitch our minds ahead to the anticipated experience at the Cathedral. But I was not there yet. And so, I found myself emotionally cut off from the experience right in front of me—the food, the people and the energy while also not being connected to what would unfold before me in another hour’s time simply because I was not there yet.

My South Korean companion

I felt a little disembodied.

After lunch I did my best to follow the scallop shells that marked the route to the Cathedral. As I got into to the center of town, clearly close to the Cathedral, the shell markings seemed to send mixed signals and it was hard to tell which small alley I was supposed to follow next. I backtracked twice to the entrance to the Old Town to get my bearings. On prior days I had often been able to follow the crowds of people, but in Santiago there were too many people going different directions and it was difficult staying on the route for that final kilometer.

Finally I reached a plaza where I would hear a bagpipe playing and the excitement on the faces of other pilgrims told me I had finally arrived. I slowed down and just tried to take in the experience and let my emotions guide my pace. I wasn’t exhilarated. I wasn’t relieved. The only way I can describe it came out in unspoken words, “Oh my God, what did I just do? What happened?” (see the video of my arrival).

I spent the day slowing everything down—a nice meal with fellow pilgrims I had met along the way, lying down on the cobbled plaza underneath the towering reach of the cathedral, getting settled into my fourth floor room and numbing out in a hot shower, and enjoying the buzz of pilgrims and tourists all around the Cathedral.

It was to good stop. The next day I had plans to attend the Pilgrim Mass in the Cathedral and sing my little ukelele creation, “The Pilgrim. Song” for a handful of pilgrim friends who had requested it.

The rest is best told in pictures.

My Aussie pilgrim friends

One small section of the Cathedral de Santiago

Glorious bedtime after five weeks of walking, feeling, walking, thinking, walking, praying.