Mystic Musings: Maundy Thursday
If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will
As a Presbyterian pastor I led Maundy Thursday services for the churches I was serving. On a number of occasions I either read the lyrics of Leonard Cohen’s song If It Be Your Willor played the song. Maundy Thursday is when the Christian Church reenacts the events of Jesus’ last supper and his wrestling with God in the Garden of Gethsemane knowing that crucifixion was likely facing him.
Photo by Wiki Sinaloa @wikisinaloa
Leonard Cohen’s words capture better than anything I could say about that moment. “If it be your will, That I speak no more, And my voice be still, As it was before. (Then) I will speak no more, I shall abide until I am am spoken for, If it be your will.”
My entire early adulthood was built around setting goals, having a vision for myself and then working toward them, often doggedly overcoming the barriers that were set before me. I had not yet learned the wisdom of quieting my ego in favor of allowing the forces of Life/God to shape my reality and my future.
The story of Maundy Thursday is the story of taming our own personal egos in service of a divine purpose. It’s the story of leaving our lives open to the possibility of loss or failure or pain or rejection in service of a life force much greater than our individual lives. It’s the story of the mystic who knows that whether they live or die, they belong to God.
Sit quietly. Breathe deeply. Get in touch with your deepest emotions. Ponder these questions:
What does God or Life most need from you? Is your life in alignment with that?
What losses, failures, pains or rejections have you experienced in your life?
If you have had prior losses, are you able to see a deeper purpose in them now?
Ponder this line, “The more you fall in love with life, the more it leaves you open to both joy and pain.” How deeply are you willing to fall in love with Life?
Answer this question, “If I be your will, I will be open to…”