Mystic Musings: Lent 3/25
“There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah”
Leonard Cohen,Hallelujah
A mentor friend, who just turned 80, and I have been discovering that two words used in unison seem to describe this latter stage of life. Actually, I don’t think it needs to be limited to our later years. I just think it takes that long to discover the beauty, the depth and the truth to it. "How are things going, Brian,” he asks. “I am doing well. There are lots of challenges, and some losses, but in all of them I seem to be experiencing this combination of grief and gratitude.” He nods his head and says, “Yes, I am having the same thing.”
Photo by Marcus Dall Col @marcusdallcol
“There’s a blaze of light in every word…”Leonard Cohen so beautifully captures this wisdom that no experience in life is wasted. We may distinguish between good experiences and bad experiences, but the Universe (or God) has a way of taking every experience and creating the light or finding the light in it.
I actually know this to be true. But what has been true for me for most of my life is that I have only seen the beauty and the light in my “negative” experiences in hindsight. For most of my life “seeing that blaze of light in every word” has only come after months and usually years of discovering how birth can come out of death, how growth can emerge out of grief, and how joy can be formed from pain.
Whether we sing the “holy or the broken hallelujah” we can sing it with a heart of gratitude. Forty years ago this was not possible for me. Now, even in the midst of loss, there is this strange experience where grief and gratitude show up hand in hand. It’s not grief, THEN eventually gratitude. It’s grief and gratitude, the holy and the broken all showing up at the same time.
Sit quietly. Breathe deeply. Ponder these questions:
What losses have you experienced?
What losses still feel raw and too painful to bear?
What losses have shown their hidden gifts to you?
Loss is part of life. Is it possible for you to feel both grief and gratitude at the same time? There is no right answer. Where you are at is where you need to be right now.