Mystic Musings: Lent 2/23
“I was invited to a fancy event and when I got there one of the guests said, “Tukaram, your shirt is on backwards and so are your pants, and it looks like your hair never heard the word comb, and your shoes don’t match.”
I replied, “Thanks, I noticed all that before leaving, but why try to fool anyone.”
Tukaram, a 17th century Indian poet and lyricist
Photo by Wonderlane @wonderlane
One of things that I had become known for in my preaching was naming things that most people kept very private. I didn’t hesitate from saying from the pulpit, “One of the things that I learned in my therapy…” Most people appreciated this and some people used it to make the case that I wasn’t suited to the ministry. If I was seeing a therapist I was clearly struggling with mental illness, was their assumption. Apparently, the pulpit is supposed to be reserved for those who know how to pretend to have it altogether. Of course, they never knew what the pastor wore or didn’t wear under those flowing robes! What has gotten clergy in trouble is not seeing therapists, but hiding secrets.
Why do we spend so much time and energy trying to fool each other? Isn’t it part of the human experience to occasionally feel red-faced rage or to lust after that which isn’t ours or to laugh at inappropriate times or to lose our shit over being rebuffed? Our inner lives are messy. There is what is conventionally acceptable and appropriate and then there is what is honest and authentic? Don’t you wish the world made room for more of who you really are?
Sit quietly. Breathe deeply. Notice what is honest and real about how you feel this in this moment. Ponder these questions:
What do you know about yourself that no one else knows?
What do you fear would happen if the people closest to you knew the “real” you?
Is there one person (friend, family member, therapist) who you would trust with this information?
How would it feel to know that even the rawest and most uncomfortable parts of yourself were accepted and welcomed by those closest to you?
How might you bring healing to others who feel equally fearful about revealing their most honest selves?
Did God or the Universe make a mistake in creating you just as you are?
If not, consider if the world needs more of you.